mortemscintilla | IC Contact

[Somewhere around midnight, Hei, you'll be awoken by a loud THUD.]

FUCK!

[Guess who became a human and fell off the edge of the couch he'd been sleeping on.]

[ Hei's been trained as a soldier, and a soldier's bed is what he makes of it. Absorbing the too-loud thud, he's already alert, blade at ready. Silently, he edges around the doorframe. A lit lamp at the corner offers enough light. What the --? ]

[ A heartbeat too late, and he'd have attacked the stranger. But he recognizes the pitch and tone of that Fuck. ]

....Mao?

Edited 2012-11-29 02:15 (UTC)

[Mao tries to stand, but it's been too many years since he's been in human form. He manages to pull himself to his feet, but he looks more like a newly born fawn than a man.

A newly born fawn with the face of Nic Cage.]

What the hell is this?

[He even sounds like Nic Cage, which makes the experience triply disconcerting. No matter what form he's taken before, his voice has always sounded the same.]

[ Staring. Staring. Staring. ]

[ Why does Mao look like the guy from that Honeymoon In Vegas movie? ]

[ And why is he naked? ]

[ This icon. ]

[ Internally. ]

[ Hei sets the blade on a desk, leaning back against the wall. No threat here. Just rampant stupidity. ]

It's a curse.

[ Welcome to your very first City Experience, Mao. ]

[So the girl from yesterday hadn't been a lunatic. Mao would find this interesting if it had happened to someone else.

He lifts his hands up. Those...are not his hands.

He looks down. That...is not his dick.]

I need a mirror.

[He stumbles in the direction of the bathroom. This is infinitely worse than adjusting to the body of a bird or a squirrel.]

[ While Mao admires(?) his biped upgrade, Hei slinks off to his room. The curse doesn't seem dangerous. He feels neither compelled to hang around for Mao's inevitable slo-mo freakout or to ignore it. But it seems odd to go back to sleep at this point. ]

[ He's so not used to the whole roommate deal. ]

[ However, while Mao is in the bathroom, he does get a pair of drawstring slacks and a loose white buttondown and set them on the couch. Once that's done, he ambles half-yawning to the fridge. Good a time as any for a midnight snack. ]

NICOLAS CAGE?!?!?!

[THUD]

[ Hei pauses mid-way at the kitchen island. ]

Everything okay?

[ What to eat? What to eat? Ho hum. ]

[Mao lumbers out of the bathroom.]

I look like Nicolas Cage.

[DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? BECAUSE IT SHOULD.

He'd been so handsome. And a pretty fine cat, too. To be reduced to this!]

Edited 2012-11-30 02:15 (UTC)

[ Hei speaks into the open refrigerator. Which is good because Mao can't see his mouth twitching. ]

It's not so bad. You can use two legs today. And opposable thumbs.

[ You know. Head out and explore. Hit bars. Chat up some ladies. Nic Cage-faces aren't supposed to get people laid. But it's the City. Anything can happen. ]

[Two legs? Not all they're cracked up to be. But Hei does have a point about opposable thumbs... Open doors for himself. Not have to beg for food. The sex part hasn't occurred to him yet; spending years as a cat will do a number on your sex drive.

He contemplates the benefits of having a human form -- even if it is Nic Cage's -- and absent-mindedly scratches his balls.]

[ Classy as fuq, Mao, oh yeah. ]

There's clothes for you on the couch.

[ Hei takes out bread, swiss cheese, bologna pickles and peanut butter, setting them on the counter like a row of toy soldiers. His teammate is Nic Cage and all Hei wants is a damn sandwich. Or five. The ultimate paragon of sensitivity. ]

Hnn. [Can you hear the gratitude, Hei?

Mao pulls on the clothes.]

........Hei. I can't go out like this.

[Hei has a good few inches on Nic Cage, making the legs far too long. And that ballerina build of his is a stark contrast to Cage's robust form. The supposedly loose drawsting pants are practically glued to his ass in as unflattering a manner as possible. Also, they're giving him a wedgie.

He doesn't even bother trying the shirt.]

[ Hei's face is a signature flatline. But if Huang were here, he'd be howling hysterically. To spare Mao his dignity -- whoops, it's already in tatters -- he checks his Network device. Yep. It's an epidemic. A Contagion of Creepy Cagii. ]

You're not the only one with this problem. [ He tosses the device at Mao. Just to test his reflexes. See the chaos and Cagey-faces everywhere? ] Everyone looks like a fashion victim today. [ Clothes are clothes, Mao. Suck it up until you can buy new ones. ]

OUCH! [Yeah, his reflexes suck. And that was completely unnecessary.]

Where's your device?

[At least now he can hack into the network and start accumulating some cash. He'll need it to get decent clothes.

He wonders if there's a store that will do same-day shipping...]

[ Oops. Hei is too busy slathering peanut-butter on top of two pieces of bread, layering a thick spread of cheese, meat slices and pickles on top. It's a gloriously hideous work of art. He bites into it with gusto. ]

It's on the coffee table.

[ He points it out. Someone should really tell him he's not endearing when he talks with his mouth full. ]

[You're disgusting, Hei.

Mao picks up the device and throws himself onto the couch. Sprawling in strange positions isn't nearly as comfortable in human form as it is in feline, but having fingers makes up for a lot.

He's soon quite immersed in his hacking.]

[ Reassured the curse entails nothing but Cagey-ness and grand guignol, Hei leaves Mao to do his thing, disappearing into his room with a sandwich plate and a half-quart of orange juice balanced in both hands. ]

[ Don't judge. He's hungry, ok. ]

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