[ It's a routine Hei's slipped into out of ingrained expectation. It's in his nature to stake his claim first. But he's also been trained to keep to patterns that measure up to mainstream sexual propaganda, the unspoken chorale of This Is What You're Supposed To Do. Maybe it's boring Korra. Maybe she isn't in the mood for oral sex. Maybe she wants something different. He doesn't know. His thoughts feel thick, slow, rolling in and out like waves. Her physical cues and his, always so seamlessly clicking, are awash, suddenly, in a hot, muddled confusion. ]
[ Climbing onto the bed, up her body, he surges close, his mouth catching Korra's a little too roughly, kisses wet and hard as if he's desperately trying to press himself as close as he can possibly be, here in this narrow stifling room in this narrow stifling City that Hei -- hates. Hates. It's given him Pai, yes. But with her, it's also given him all the anxieties and ugliness that he'd once shoved behind safety-glass in his mind. The sight of Pai, the tones of her voice, her gaze, stir them out of the shadows like ghosts. He could never resent Pai for that. It's not her fault. But he does resent his own weakness at not being able to shove the specters aside. ]
[ He wants to tell Korra, I can't do this right now. But when he wrenches his mouth away from hers and drops his head to her shoulder, he pants. ] I'm glad you're here, [ instead. Truth, lie, it doesn't matter. Right now, she evokes reminders of no one he knows -- and he's grateful for that. ]
no subject
[ Climbing onto the bed, up her body, he surges close, his mouth catching Korra's a little too roughly, kisses wet and hard as if he's desperately trying to press himself as close as he can possibly be, here in this narrow stifling room in this narrow stifling City that Hei -- hates. Hates. It's given him Pai, yes. But with her, it's also given him all the anxieties and ugliness that he'd once shoved behind safety-glass in his mind. The sight of Pai, the tones of her voice, her gaze, stir them out of the shadows like ghosts. He could never resent Pai for that. It's not her fault. But he does resent his own weakness at not being able to shove the specters aside. ]
[ He wants to tell Korra, I can't do this right now. But when he wrenches his mouth away from hers and drops his head to her shoulder, he pants. ] I'm glad you're here, [ instead. Truth, lie, it doesn't matter. Right now, she evokes reminders of no one he knows -- and he's grateful for that. ]