mortemscintilla | IC Contact

[ It's been a month. I wanted to talk to you. There it is again. That ordinariness, as if they're normal people, or as if he's a run-of-mill sex-buddy or boyfriend, someone it's polite to keep in touch with from time to time. Hei doesn't bother telling her how much this fling of theirs matches the patterns of his previous short-lived affairs. Beginnings -- and ends -- in inauspicious circumstances. Weeks between rendezvous. Sudden hellos and open-ended goodbyes. ]

[ Firmly, he reminds himself those were affairs with fellow professionals. Most of them knew where to draw the line. Knew which promises he'd keep and which ones he'd inevitably break. But Korra is a beginner at this. Worse, she has no idea what sort of convoluted world he's from -- the secrets, the agendas and mindgames. Yet, so far she's kept her head admirably above the water, where even the most tenacious and seasoned players would've drowned. ]

[ It's that -- and a wistful, unexpected pang of fondness for her -- that has Hei saying, ]

We can talk better if you come over.

Edited (hello typos my old friends~) 2013-07-04 01:44 (UTC)

[Another spike of happiness -- is it the drink or is it real? Why overthink it? Happy is happy.]

Sure. See you in a bit?

[What she's forgetting is the distance between Hei's apartment and her place in the gardens. Her trip over both takes her longer than it should and tires her more than she'd like. (She has been walking about pretty much all day -- her doctor is going to ream into her for pushing herself when she sees him next.) She leans heavily on her cane as she knocks on Hei's door.]

[ It takes her longer than usual to arrive. But Hei chalks that up to her injury and doesn't worry about it. While a decent person would've met her halfway, he's never been one to coddle. Not without a purpose. If she wasn't up for the trip, she'd have said so. Hei's learnt early on when to call it quits, the limits of his endurance. Korra will too. If not now, then eventually. ]

[ By the time she arrives, he's dressed and fixed himself a 'small' snack. The apartment smells of laundry, wok-fried food and the distinct undertone of a fresh vacuuming, but Hei can't say it feels any less bleak. In the shifting pale-blue glow of the TV, slumped on the couch with a damp towel slung around his neck, he catches the tread of Korra's footsteps. They seem clunky, distorted by both her limp and the cane -- but still recognizably hers. ]

[ Nonetheless, Hei waits until the requisite knock before letting her in. He's come a long way since first accepting Korra's presence in his life. But that doesn't mean he's letting go of all his precautions. Leaning forward to line one eye with the peephole, he makes sure she's alone before there's the sound of clicking locks -- more than one, no surprise. ]

[ Only when the door swings open, does he allow his lips to twitch in an almost smile, part welcoming, part weary. ]

Come in.

Thanks. [The smells almost knock her over, attacking her with sense memories of previous encounters. The fun ones, not the mistake with Chekov. It's been so long since she's been here and yet each moment feels tangible and immediate. It's both strangely comforting and a little distracting.

She leans forward to brush her lips against his, just a quick, welcoming touch.] Hi.

[ Hei steps back to let her in, glancing around the landing over her head. Nothing sets off his radar. It troubles him that even now, with all he's been through with Korra, with all they've shared, good and bad, he's inherently distrustful of her. It makes him wonder if he'll ever be able to completely relax with her, or with anyone. ]

[ Reaching past her to shut the door, he's taken aback by the kiss. (After the Bad Night, he's been carefully neutral about all physicality with her. Again and again, he's reminded agonizingly of Yin, whom he still hesitates to offer a hand to -- in playful warmth, in matter-of-fact assistance -- because he's afraid she'll recoil from his touch.) Still, it's barely a heartbeat before he finds his footing. ]

[ Shutting the door behind Korra with a quiet click, he leans into the space between them. Slowly, like he's giving her enough time to adjust, before one hand curls at her jaw, tipping her head up, thumb pressed into the divot where ear smoothes into skull. When Hei renews the kiss, it's almost tender, lips parted and soft, teeth light against the fullness of her upper-lip. ]

[ It's an unspoken You were missed. ]

[The Bad Night. It wouldn't be truthful to say that Korra has moved past it -- it lurks in her subconscious, ready to attack when triggered -- it's no longer something that colors her every interaction with him. She has more pleasant things to remember. She smiles against his lips and leans into the warmth of his hand.

And ow. She needs to sit down. She pulls back reluctantly and heads for the couch.]

How's Imugi doing? [an effort to pretend that her ultimate objective is just to sit down]

[ If Hei knows what she's doing, he doesn't let on. ]

[ But when you deal with bodies as a cartography of weak-points, you learn to notice these little details. The way someone favors the left foot over the right. The way they angle their shoulders, how they carry the tension in their frame. Strange to realize, that in this weakened state, she'd be so easy to overpower. That if she were a target, she would've been dead by the time she'd crossed the threshold. ]

[ Instead he lets her go, stepping back so she can totter over to the couch. At her question, the lizard -- he still doesn't think of it as Imugi -- stirs listlessly in its cage. And, with its quota of liveliness fulfilled, promptly slinks into one of the cage's alcoves. (Why, Hei thinks, couldn't he have gotten a more cheerful pet? A parakeet, maybe? Or a kitten? In the same beat, he almost snorts. I'd sooner install Korra or Yin in the flat.) ]

[ Sidling after Korra, he perches on the arm of the couch. ] Interesting as ever. [ You know lizards. Eat, sleep, laze, shit, etc. ]

Edited 2013-07-04 03:37 (UTC)

[She taps lightly on the glass of Imugi's cage and waves at the lizard (yes, she knows he doesn't understand or care; neither does she) and turns to give Hei a look.]

You don't seem to like him a whole lot. Why'd you get him?

[Not that she can imagine a pet he would like, but still.]

[ The tapping gets no reaction -- not from Imugi, anyway. Hei, on his part, represses a flickering smile. Why does Korra always strike him as endearing rather than ridiculous? It's beyond him. ] I told you before. [ But she'd just stabbed her best friend that night, so the lapse in memory is excused. ] He helps with the ticking. [ A brief shrug of one shoulder (which reminds him of the damp towel still draped around his neck. He should really pluck it off), ] Made more sense than a roommate.

Yeah, but why not get a pet you actually like?

[ Now Hei does pluck the towel off -- and deposit it neatly on top of Korra's head. ] Why? [ Dry, but in a tone that makes it abundantly clear he'd boot her out if she took the banter -- or him -- seriously. ] Are you volunteering?

Hey! [She takes the towel off her head and thwacks him with it (all in good fun, of course).] No. I am not a pet. [JERK.]

I just don't get the point of having a pet you don't like.

[ Hei ducks, so the wet whippish end of the towel slaps the couch instead. Snatching it out of her hands, he balls it up almost thoughtfully, before saying, ] There's a lot of things you have to do. Even if you don't like them. [ An essentiality of growing up, as anyone less self-aware than Hei would be quick to point out. Except even his childhood, such as it was, revolved around a stream of Do Not Wants and Must Be Dones, like he was a small piece of flotsam in an ocean too vast and dark to control. ]

[Well DUH. She rolls her eyes at him, hard. She's no stranger to doing crap you don't like to do. See: meditation. See: working at the bar and then the Welcome Center. ]

Yeah. But taking care of a pet you don't even like isn't something you have to do. Wouldn't it be just as easy to get a pet you actually like?

[ Hei conceals his amusement as Korra's little face settles into what she probably can't tell is a pout. Reaching out with one hand, he lets his fingers skate the shell of her ear, before tucking a stray strand of hair away. He's done this before, for other people -- always targets or soon-to-be-targets. Never honest, never warm, but there's a quality particular to this moment that makes it both. The room is dark, all flickering shadows and lights from the muted TV, but his smile is all-too-apparent. ]

I don't like animals. [ Cats. Dogs. Birds. Fish. The whole shebang. ] I only picked the lizard because it was the most convenient.

[She's still making that face, though she's not upset. She likes that little gesture -- simple and sweet even though he's anything but.]

Guess that explains why you never come to the Beach House. [They practically run their own zoo there. Dogs, cats, sheep...]

[ Gradually, Hei feels that wire-tense weight in his chest loosening. Something about the dimly-lit apartment, the bright-eyed girl, the quiet ambience, all conspire to make him feel almost-easy. He traces the underside of Korra's jaw with the rough edge of his finger, tipping her chin to regard her. She's not wan and bleary like in the hospital; her cheeks are round and glossy again, and she smells faintly of a sugary drink. ]

[ For the moment his default security awareness is eclipsed by a physical tug of want. (On the one hand -- it's liberating, even life-affirming, to know his ennui hasn't sunk its claws in that deep. To know he's capable of semi-spontaneous contact. On the other hand, it's worrisome.) Firmly, he brushes it off. Leaning in, the slow creaking of the couch presaging the movement, he kisses her again, buttery-soft. Murmurs, lips playing with hers, ] I don't like crowds either. [ Another kiss -- sharp as a bite. ] Or heartsick ex-boyfriends. [ It's an offhand jibe, not meant to be cruel. The gooey puddle of Korra's love-life is of no interest to him. Even so, it's smarter to keep his distance, lest the backwash splatter him. ]

[Ugh did you have to mention Mako?!?! The entire situation sucks. Korra feels bad for him, knowing how confusing it is for him to arrive here and she's a totally different person with a totally different life. At the same time, his resentment is off-putting. The two of them have always had a rocky relationship, but there's no longer the buffer of unrequited love to soften it for her.]

Don't even talk about him. [One of these days she'll figure out how to make things right between her and Mako again, but right now she just wants to pretend that particular problem doesn't exist for awhile.

She grips the front of his shirt and tugs him closer. Kisses -- definitely something she's missed.]

[ Maybe he was talking about Bolin? (Spoilers: he wasn't.) ]

[ She cringes. And part of Hei waits to suffocate as a green-eyed monster wraps its scaly tail around him and squeezes. But of course, that doesn't happen. Jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness -- he'd be insane to say he's immune to them. But in truth, he's long since been schooled to view them as liabilities, and learnt not to experience them after years of self-denial. Mako is a non-issue. His presence doesn't register as a threat. And fond as Hei is of Korra, she isn't Amber. Firework fights, ever-cropping mindgames -- that was the kind of coercive drama he and Amber lobbed back and forth, jealousy waxing and waning, keeping their passion engaged across the battlefield. But he knows that isn't going to brighten Korra's love-light any. Nor is it something Hei cares to get entangled in. Order and peace of mind aren't preoccupations of men his age. But he craves them the way his peers crave sluts, drugs and sportscars. ]

[ Order and peace of mind? the Iceman sneers. Like you'll ever have that with her. You should just kill the bitch and get on with it. Maybe some other girl would come along, who'd take Amber's place in his heart and his bed and his life. A girl who wasn't such a surreal Pai-echo. ]

[ Hei shuts his eyes. Kill the bitch, yeah. Same one who, having told him not to talk about Mako, is now yanking him in, all soft and curvy and deliciously warm, kissing him as if she's read his mind. Humming, he circles her closer. Sinking away from his destructive ideas, sinking into the kiss. Her mouth is so receptive now, her lips so responsive. He doesn't delude himself that it's pure passion; it's also the instinctive seeking of sanctuary. Greedily, he flicks his tongue along Korra's teeth in between teasing bites to her lower lip. Strokes his knuckles down her spine, before tracing his fingertips up under the hem of her shirt. ]

[ He's in no mood for slowness or tenderness. But tonight, more than ever, it's necessary. The touch of fingers on bare skin isn't a demand for more. It's a question. Yes? No? ]

[Bolin is a boy and a friend, but he's never been a boyfriend. And jealousy would be a particularly silly reaction considering you're the one she's kissing.

She twists on the couch to get a better angle and presses closer against him. Her hands drift down to grip his waist (no hips to speak of, and for a moment she misses that). The light touch of his knuckles on her spine makes her hum quietly. The answer to his unspoken question is very much Yes.

Of course, it's not as easy as it used to be, and she doesn't have the luxury of heated kisses right up to the moment she pulls the shirt over her head. With one last kiss, she pulls back, giving herself room for the quick but still arduous process of taking off her shirt: sliding out first her good arm, then her head, then her bad arm, hissing as her shoulder flares with pain. (Her bra at least will be easier...no straps and front-clasp. Not as supportive as she'd like, but easier to put on.)]

[ Three infallible truths Hei's learnt in his career:

1) Nothing is what it seems.
2) Sex and emotions seldom (if ever) go hand-in-hand.
3) Bodies can deceive with the same calculated ease as words. ]

[ Ironically, none of the rules apply to Korra. She isn't a liar or a killer. She has always, every time he's seen her, been nothing and nobody but herself. Painfully, messily, blatantly so. This her, this person she shows him more of, morsel by morsel, is the truth. There is no measured facade concealing her from his eyes. ]

[ When she breaks the kiss, he rocks back on a slow inhale, watching her make short work of the shirt. His whole body thrums at her proximity -- all hard edges of hunger and self-interest. Yet -- hearing her hiss -- he's filled with a sudden tenderness that catches his throat. In the black room, a steady glow pouring from the TV, he just takes her in for a moment -- a study of light and dark contrasts. Gauges her face for any brick walls of disconnect: pain, hesitation, even fear. Spanning his arms around her, he gathers her in almost-carefully, his palms exploring the soft bare expanse of her back. Bends his head and kisses the shadowy dip between her breasts, laving his tongue along the warm skin. Gives each of her nipples a wet biting kiss through the thin fabric -- before undoing the front clasp with both hands. ]

[ He's not as aggressive as their prior encounters. If anything, he stops just short of pushy. It's true that Hei prefers roughness. He enjoys the crash-and-burn and the rapid unraveling to the slow hypnotic bullshit. But that doesn't mean he wants Korra to be uncomfortable. ]

[Yeah, okay, the pain did take her out of it a little bit. It lingers and throbs, trying to draw her attention to it and only it. Her leg decides to get in on the action too, and her torso complains at how she has to twist herself in order to keep her thigh happy.]

This isn't gonna work. [groaning as her nipples ache in protest. Seriously it's been a month WHY DO BODIES TAKE SO LONG TO HEAL?!]

[ Korra's bra is already forgotten on the cushion next to them when she speaks. Hei pauses, brow knitted. But he doesn't seem frustrated or irritated -- just thoughtful. There's a roar of blood in his ears, like an engine revved up and ready to go, fueled by hot impatience but -- He puts his foot down on that right away. Leave it. He doesn't draw away from Korra. Instead he lets his hands resettle on her hips, callused fingers on smooth skin, neither a demand nor a seduction. Just a tactile reassurance. ]

We can stop. [ Neither sulky nor indifferent. It's clear he wants this, but also clear he's not going to push. With one hand, he smoothes the hair from her face, searching it for a moment before leaning in to press a kiss -- light, if not chaste. ]

[She leans into him, trying to use his lips to drown out everything else. It doesn't work. She moans softly, half-desire, half-frustration.]

Maybe we can move this somewhere else?

[ Hei kisses her again, harder. This time, when he draws back, lips shiny in the semi-dark, he trails his way down Korra's throat, bites at the ticcing pulsepoint there before mouthing at the dent of her collarbones. He won't ignore her semi-nudity, the press of her breasts against his chest or the heat seeping through his thin cotton shirt. But he doesn't grope her or devour her with his eyes, either. Instead, very slowly and thoroughly, he looks her over. Taking stock of fresh scars or unexpected changes. Measuring his own levels of roughness or gentleness accordingly. One hand rubs idle circles against the jut of her hipbone with his thumb. The other pulls at the corner of Korra’s mouth, thumb a slow drag on the edge of her teeth. ]

My room, then.

[ Hopefully she'll be more comfortable buffered by a heap of pillows. Behind them, the room shifts to red as one movie ends and another rolls in. Hei is too preoccupied to notice two naked bodies engaged in an obviously carnal act, making what look like ridiculous faces. Otherwise he'd have the presence of mind to change the channel. ]

[ Why yes. He did unlock the pornography block last weekend. ]

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