mortemscintilla | IC Contact

Will you teach me?

Never. It's a secret and I don't share with anyone.

[ He still has a hand extended outside the bars. Very lightly, he taps his forefinger against Pai's little nose. ]

Of course I'll teach you. It seems like a kata at first. But it's nowhere near as structured. Think the opposite of a matsubayashi-ryu.

[She wrinkles her nose and gently (jokingly) bats his hand away.)

How do you know if you're doing it right?

[ There's something to the twist of Hei's mouth, not wry but definitely indulgent as he says, ]

When you don't lose the theme of the dance. It speaks to your audience -- or your mark. [ He sounds a little amused as he says it, like there are things he actively doesn't track anymore. Like the locomotor and nonlocomotor movements before he lashes out in a battle, some things just end up ingrained in your muscle-memory. ] Most people say it's done right when you follow a rubric. But it's really about how well you sell the illusion.

[ True for dancing -- and for everything else. ]

[She nods, but she's hesitant. She isn't like Hei; she's not that skilled in selling illusions. She has the illusion of humanity she maintains for Hei, but that only works because he wants it to. Could interpretive dance help her with that? Or is it something she could never be good at, because of what she is?]

[ Hei remembers some old poet stating that all bad writing springs from genuine feeling, and he was fucking right. If you're composed of feeling and nothing but, you'll lose the game. What's necessary is an equilibrium between rationale and hot cognitions of emotion. He's learnt, after a fashion, to strike a balance between the two -- but sometimes he still slips up. Similarly, it'd be easy to dismiss Pai as never being more than what she is. But that's not true. Amber said it herself. The Contractors, the Dolls -- they're all evolving as time passes. Into what, and for what purpose, he isn't sure. ]

[ But it's reason enough not to give up on Pai. She'll never be perfectly human. But in most ways, Hei's lost his claim to that title himself. It's enough that they can live with it -- and have the choice to be who they want to be. ]

[ A beat, before he reaches out to chuck her under the chin. ]

We'll start lessons once I get out of here.

[She smiles at him, just the faintest twitch of her lips, a hint of warmth in her eyes that is forever exclusively for him.]

Truth or dare.

[She could play this game all night. She might, actually, unless Hei tells her to leave. She's slept in worse conditions than this hallway. And she would rather be with him. She has already spent too many nights alone in their apartment; the longest she's ever been alone in her entire life. She doesn't like it.]

[ He wouldn't mind having her stay the entire night. If anything, he'd welcome it. He feels her attention like thick shimmery drops of some blue syrup -- slipping into the cracks of his psyche, making ragged things ... not whole, but less sharp-edged. It reminds him of the snatches of lulls in the war, when the gunfire and mines would settle into a vibrating silence, when Pai would awaken soft-eyed and calm from her Remuneration, and they'd spent night after night looking up at the false stars together, sharpening each other's blades, scarfing rations, arguing, playing hearts for a penny a point. For a whole half-decade of war, you were my lifeline. You were the reason I stayed sane. ]

[ He doesn't say that. But his smile grows a little -- faraway and fond. ]

Truth.

[Maybe she will, then, unless guards come to kick her out. She skooches closer and leans against the cell bars, leaning her head back to rest on them.

She's asked him a lot of difficult questions tonight. Perhaps she should give him a break.]

Why don't you ever pick dare?

[ Unpleasant as the prospect is, Hei knows the guards will escort her out eventually. Prisons don't tolerate hangers-on. Especially ones who buzz around dangerous captives. When Pai settles against the bars, he draws closer. Passes both his arms through the gaps, gathering her into a makeshift hug, the cold lines of metal interspersing Pai's warmth. He listens for a moment to her quiet breathing, absorbing her nearness, and wonders if she's trying to be nonchalant for his sake. The very fact that she's not leaving, after all, is a sign that she wants more cosseting than she's consciously letting on. But that's normal. He's never left her alone for so long. Not even on solo ops in South America. ]

[ Between the bars, he brushes his lips against the top of her head. His answer is honest and matter-of-fact. ]

Because I like talking to you.

Or maybe you're just a wuss. [She sticks her tongue out at him, even as she takes hold of his arms to return the embrace. Deciding, subconsciously, that she won't hesitate to kill anyone who comes to take her away.

She is growing tired, though. Instead of prompting him to ask, she simply says:]

Truth.

[After all, a dare would mean he'd have to let go.]

You try doing something daring in a cell. [ Catching cockroaches. Targeting them with broken slivers of glass. Building tiny catapults out of torn shreds of cloth and bits of wood. Performing narrow acrobatic feats. Doing jumping-jacks on his cot. He's already exhausted a majority of the amusing options. Less than half were successful. ]

[ He feels Pai's weariness gathering. Feels her settling into his grasp, her quiet little voice softening at the edges. He tightens the circle of his arms around her, a warm framework to keep her close. Murmurs, after a pause. ] How are you managing, by yourself? [ It's hard to tell if he's keeping to the rules of the game, or if he's set them aside to ask out of concern. ]

I said truth, not dare. [But if she were in a cell, she would say dare. She'd do it.] And I'm fine. [Not happy. Not pleased. Lonely. Bored. Restless. But she's not unwell, and she doesn't want to give him any reason to worry.]

[ That, perhaps, is where the siblings differ. Pai will always be more of a risk-taker. Hei fixates too firmly on the functionality of his risks -- except in the moments when he's past caring at all. Her answer is well-modulated. But of course she doesn't need to be sick or unhappy for Hei to worry. His curiosity, his ability to brood over her, is like one of those vast underground rivers that periodically expresses itself in boiling geysers and cave-ins. Just because he doesn't speak up doesn't mean he isn't riddling himself with worries for her every moment. But he supposes -- in some ways -- the same goes for Pai. ]

[ His tone is flat but not unkind when he says, ]

Just one more week. Then I'll be back to bother you full-time.

[Until you take another risk like this again. And once again, not tell her beforehand. She wonders how much of that is his protectiveness, and how much of it is resentment, because she did not tell him about Heaven's Gate.

She yawns a little, and shifts so that she can rest her head on his arm.]

Truth or dare.

[ Hei's resentment, while it hasn't dissipated, is much weaker than his protectiveness could ever be. In the intricate tapestry of his minute-by-minute concerns for Pai, it occupies bare wisps of space -- just red threads woven here and there, overlapped too completely by the big picture: Keep her safe. Ordinarily, he's not above scorekeeping. But Pai will always be his exception among exceptions. He hides a smile when she yawns, hitching his arm more securely around her. ]

Dare. [ A gentle concession, and an attempt at variation. ] Just keep it simple. [ Because he's in no mood to let her go. ]

[Of course. Ask for the dare as soon as she starts getting sleepy and feeling less up to something creative. Thanks, brother.]

Send a message to someone, ask them what they're wearing in a sultry voice.

[adding, after a moment]

Make sure it's a guy.

[ What makes you so sure he didn't plan it that way, sweet sister? His reply isn't reluctant, although he does make a show of rolling his eyes. ] Fine. [ It would be tempting to leave a message to Chekov, just for the sheer horror of his reaction. But Hei's given the young man enough unpleasant shocks to last a lifetime. Instead he leaves the message to someone who'll shrug it off as a random obscenity. Perhaps it's even a petty sort of needling on Hei's part. Who knows? ]

[ When he's done, he offers Pai a crooked half-smile. ]

Happy?

[Pai smiles, almost but not quite giggling.]

Who did you leave it for?

[ Hei knocks his forehead lightly against hers through the bars. His eyes slip shut, but there's still traces of a wry smile hitching up the corners of his mouth. ]

No one you know. [ That, at least, is half-true. The message was ridiculous and juvenile. Ordinarily, he wouldn't have bothered with it. But Hei's noticed it before; he has a habit of regressing to a more basic personality with Korra, same as with Amber. The brief spikes of possessiveness and resentment make him forget himself. It's bothersome, but he tries to shake it off. ]

[ Quietly, he murmurs to Pai, ] Try to sleep, okay?

[She'll have to find out. Maybe she can get Chekov to hack Hei's device and find out for her. Hei had made the message too purposefully for it to have been someone random.

The very word "sleep" makes her yawn again.] No. It's your turn. [The curse demands what it demands....and her body will demand what it demands, soon enough. She may not even stay awake through him asking the question.]

[ Hei knows Pai's patterns perhaps better than he understands his own. The little yawn, muted, kittenish, signals that she'll be drifting off eventually. In the meantime he brushes the hair from her face with a free arm, the other clasped tight around her, one pale hand starfished on her stomach, possessive, protective. ]

All right. Truth or dare?

[ He's interested in seeing whether or not she'll zonk out before even settling on a choice. ]

[The word barely comes out, mumbled. barely audible, certainly not conscious.]

Truth.

[She's out like a light.]

[ Maybe it's just as well. Hei has no idea what he'd ask her, that wouldn't break up the peaceful mood. The atmosphere is kind that way, grunge, cockroaches, drunken warbling and all. It's easy to get lost in the stillness -- easy to get complacent, easy to lose track of the time. It's a habit that Hei tries not to fall into (he can't, after all -- he's not built for it, and ugly things happen when he sinks into the trap of relaxation) but from time to time, it's an indulgence that he'll take. Especially for Pai. ]

[ For her, indulgences, sacrifices, risks, cruelties -- they'll always come so easily. ]

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