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[mortemscintilla]

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[mortemscintilla]

[ He finishes the last bits of his apple, tossing the core so it lands with a plunk in the grimy little dustbin. Her half-smile gets one in return and if he could nudge his shoulder against hers, he probably would. He never does this with anyone; Chekov likes to talk about science and astrophysics with him, Korra and he both occupy the physical end of the spectrum, more goofiness and randomness and fucking than actual banter, Yin, well -- he could sit in a room with Yin, saying absolutely nothing, yet feel soothed. ]

[ Pai, though, is family. That always places her in a completely different -- unique -- category. ]

Truth.

[ He'd go with dare. But again. Not much room to be daring. Even his Network device is bugged, and outfitted with a timer so his communiques aren't constant. ]

[sleepingstar]

Do you have any more plans that will get you in trouble that you haven't told me about?

[mortemscintilla]

[ A plain and pertinent question. Hei considers it for a moment, taking a mental inventory. Then he shakes his head. The Barrier attack hasn't forced him to go back to the drawing board. But it has opened a limitless array of new theories. That, added with Anonymous' notes, guarantees that he'll be kept solidly occupied for a long while. ]

None. [ His tone is mild. ] The experiment's left me with too many variables to try and understand.

[sleepingstar]

[I want those details. She doesn't say it, but it's clear in her expression. They both know she's the smarter one.

She doesn't wait for him to ask.]

Truth. [She's curious to know what he'll ask.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It's habitual for Hei to be reticent. But if she presses, he'll grudgingly share details. There's no need to make this a repeat of South America -- all the misunderstandings and resentments and vendettas burgeoning because no information was offered. Both Amber and Pai have said, one directly, the other in so many words, that they'd withheld the facts because he was human. Because they wanted to protect him. But it'll be awhile before Hei's psychic bruise fades, or before he swallows the bitter sense of loss. ]

[ She says Truth, and Hei considers for only a moment. ]

Are you happy in the City?

[ Happiness is just a state of mind, true. It's not an emotion Contractors put stock in. Most would argue it's not one they even experience. But Hei knows better. Pai takes after him in feeling everything more, perhaps, than she lets on. They're both extraordinarily driven people, and Hei recognizes himself sometimes in Pai's loaded questions and careful looks, and in her ability to stew silently for hours without deviation. ]

[ A pause, before he rephrases himself, ] If that's too abstract ... then what's one thing you wish you could have, out here? Anything at all.

[sleepingstar]

[She blinks slowly at him, pondering the best response to that question. She doesn't feel happiness as such. But, even if she did, she probably would not feel it here. She's too alone, the only real Contractor. She lacks purpose.]

I have you. [It may not be happiness, but it's the only thing she actually needs. The one thing she wishes she could have is Amber, but she doesn't want to taunt her brother with something he can neither give her nor have himself.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ She doesn't mention Amber. But everything she's asked so far suggests that her thoughts have been looping and weaving in that direction. He understands the solitude, the lack of purpose, more than he'd admit. It's what he felt when he'd lost Pai, and the large chunks of himself that had slid away with her. He won't pretend not to understand how Amber's presence might relieve Pai's innate and specific loneliness as no one else can or will. Not even him. Family isn't the appropriate term to use for his old South American team. Yet the word is flavored like one in his memory. Disjointed and dangerous as they all were, they fit together. ]

[ That's what Pai longs for. It's the reason why she'd been willing to erase herself for a few thousand. She'd never said so. But there are certain things Hei doesn't need to ask to know. ]

You do. [ A beat, before he wraps a hand around one of the bars, leaning in. His gaze is soft. ] But it's not strange to want something more. If you do, I wish you'd tell me.

[ He may not be able to fix it. But he'll do his best to offer some anodyne substitutes. ]

[sleepingstar]

[I want you to be happy. He's the only one of the two of them still capable of that feeling. But she doesn't say that. He can be so stubborn and irrational about certain things. Besides, the curse compels her to continue.]

Truth or dare?

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei wonders if it's the curse that prompts the subject change, or if it's something Pai's unwilling to discuss. But he'll wonder about that later. He doesn't smile, but the softness remains in his eyes. The choice is both matter-of-fact and predictable. ]

Truth.

[sleepingstar]

Why did you ask that person to watch me? [Yes, Hei, she's aware that Chekov isn't the only person you assigned to babysit her.[

[mortemscintilla]

[ It's surprising when she asks him. There's very little that catches Hei off-guard these days, and he glances at her, a genuine expression in the lift of his brows. His hands drum lightly against the bars. It's a tricky question, though not as tricky as the answer. But he doesn't try to twist his words into an illusion of honesty. Pai has a right to know. ]

Because she's good at one thing. Watching. Because she's got a soft-spot for children. Even if she claims otherwise. [ It's a dismally familiar scenario. ] That, and if she tries anything on you, I'll have no reason to hold back with her. [ It'd be almost cathartic, if that's the right word for his and Hatter's endless games of cat-and-mouse. No holds barred; no time wasted on chit-chat. ]

[sleepingstar]

[Pai arches an eyebrow. You'd hold back with other people? (She's not offended, mostly bemused. In Heaven's War, Hei would hold back with nobody.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Unfortunately, they're not in Heaven's War anymore. The skills and behaviors that kept Hei alive during that era are the same ones that can cause problems in this blood-red playground of calculation and control. He isn't the same destructive force he was in South America -- the sureness of his path so blindingly total. His methods these days are as much smoke and poison as they are dangerous shockwaves. (Perhaps it's because he's learnt -- too well -- that everything has repercussions.) ]

[ With a crooked half-smile, he reaches out through the bars to tug one of Pai's bangs. It glitters as he twines it around his fingers. ]

Sometimes killing the enemy isn't the smart option. Even if it is the easier one.

[sleepingstar]

[Oh really? She makes a little face at him. She always thought Hei was too quick to kill -- not because she has any qualms about murder, but because Hei always seemed to kill to try and spare her, which was ridiculous. Killing bothered him far more than it ever bothered her. She should be killing to spare him.]

Dare. [Answer to the question he hasn't asked yet.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ It might make little sense to a Contractor. But as far as Pai is concerned, Hei's always been asymptotic to logic. He still remembers those days in Heaven's War -- the bloodshed, the repression, the blind vehemence with which he told himself he liked killing. Still remembers the feeling that came over him as the war passed -- was it months or years? -- time didn't move normally for him those days -- the feeling of being pressed under a very large boot that was squeezing every ounce of air from him, and the sense that he was somehow detached from his body and watching himself being inexorably crushed. How, after all, could he describe it to anyone? Or admit that, some nights, as the not-feeling grew worse, he dreamt of killing Pai in her sleep. ]

[ It wasn't out of resentment. But with every kill, Pai floated further and further away from the girl he loved -- even if she didn't realize it. Just as Hei, in his own way, drifted away with her. ]

[ Shaking it off, he summons an almost playful look. ]

Perform an interpretive dance to the music of your choice. It can be here. Or when you get home. [ Dryly, ] I'll expect a recording.

[sleepingstar]

An interpretive dance? [She blinks, puzzled.] I don't know what that is.

[She's heard the phrase, but she has no idea how she'd actually do it.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ That doesn't surprise him. If anything he's reminded of how it felt when he was reinstated into the civilian realm after the war. Half the points of interest, half the trends and events, flew over his head. More to the point, he just found them useless and frivolous. Hei's breadth of knowledge dealt in violence, weaponry and tactics -- everything specific to one talent, one requirement, one goal. Which was fine when he was a soldier. But as a chameleon, he needed a solid padding of normalcy. Pop culture. Books. Games. A lot of it didn't come easy. Often times, It still doesn't. Other parts ... well, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy absorbing something different. ]

[ With a half-smile, he says. ]

It's a style of dance to translate something. A mood. An idea. A story. Like charades, except more dramatic. [ A beat, before he admits, ] It's how I learnt to polish the nuances of body-language.

[sleepingstar]

Will you teach me?

[mortemscintilla]

Never. It's a secret and I don't share with anyone.

[ He still has a hand extended outside the bars. Very lightly, he taps his forefinger against Pai's little nose. ]

Of course I'll teach you. It seems like a kata at first. But it's nowhere near as structured. Think the opposite of a matsubayashi-ryu.

[sleepingstar]

[She wrinkles her nose and gently (jokingly) bats his hand away.)

How do you know if you're doing it right?

[mortemscintilla]

[ There's something to the twist of Hei's mouth, not wry but definitely indulgent as he says, ]

When you don't lose the theme of the dance. It speaks to your audience -- or your mark. [ He sounds a little amused as he says it, like there are things he actively doesn't track anymore. Like the locomotor and nonlocomotor movements before he lashes out in a battle, some things just end up ingrained in your muscle-memory. ] Most people say it's done right when you follow a rubric. But it's really about how well you sell the illusion.

[ True for dancing -- and for everything else. ]

[sleepingstar]

[She nods, but she's hesitant. She isn't like Hei; she's not that skilled in selling illusions. She has the illusion of humanity she maintains for Hei, but that only works because he wants it to. Could interpretive dance help her with that? Or is it something she could never be good at, because of what she is?]

[mortemscintilla]

[ Hei remembers some old poet stating that all bad writing springs from genuine feeling, and he was fucking right. If you're composed of feeling and nothing but, you'll lose the game. What's necessary is an equilibrium between rationale and hot cognitions of emotion. He's learnt, after a fashion, to strike a balance between the two -- but sometimes he still slips up. Similarly, it'd be easy to dismiss Pai as never being more than what she is. But that's not true. Amber said it herself. The Contractors, the Dolls -- they're all evolving as time passes. Into what, and for what purpose, he isn't sure. ]

[ But it's reason enough not to give up on Pai. She'll never be perfectly human. But in most ways, Hei's lost his claim to that title himself. It's enough that they can live with it -- and have the choice to be who they want to be. ]

[ A beat, before he reaches out to chuck her under the chin. ]

We'll start lessons once I get out of here.

[sleepingstar]

[She smiles at him, just the faintest twitch of her lips, a hint of warmth in her eyes that is forever exclusively for him.]

Truth or dare.

[She could play this game all night. She might, actually, unless Hei tells her to leave. She's slept in worse conditions than this hallway. And she would rather be with him. She has already spent too many nights alone in their apartment; the longest she's ever been alone in her entire life. She doesn't like it.]

[mortemscintilla]

[ He wouldn't mind having her stay the entire night. If anything, he'd welcome it. He feels her attention like thick shimmery drops of some blue syrup -- slipping into the cracks of his psyche, making ragged things ... not whole, but less sharp-edged. It reminds him of the snatches of lulls in the war, when the gunfire and mines would settle into a vibrating silence, when Pai would awaken soft-eyed and calm from her Remuneration, and they'd spent night after night looking up at the false stars together, sharpening each other's blades, scarfing rations, arguing, playing hearts for a penny a point. For a whole half-decade of war, you were my lifeline. You were the reason I stayed sane. ]

[ He doesn't say that. But his smile grows a little -- faraway and fond. ]

Truth.